Gorgeous Stunning Chinese

Gorgeous Stunning Chinese
Is this Chinese joke funny?

A man went to stop at a B&B owned by an old chinese man who had a gorgeous daughter. He was allowed to stop the night but he must keep his hands of his daughter or he would suffer 3 dreadful chinese tortures.

She served him supper that night and he thought she was stunning. Lying in bed that night, he couldn’t get her out of his mind so he crept across the landing to her room, did the dirty deed, and returned.

When he woke up in the morning, he had a large rock sat on his chest with a note “I told yold you to keep your hands off my daughter, so you will suffer chinese torture one LARGE ROCK ON CHEST”. He got up and thought how pathetic, and chucked it out of the window.

On the window was a note “Chinese torture two ROCK TIED TO LEFT TESTICLE”. He thought what the hell, it’s only one floor up, I’ll jump out onto the lawn.

On the way down, he reads another note “Chinese torture three RIGHT TESTICLE TIED TO BEDPOST”.

hehe. good one. have a star. try these:

Fresh from her shower, a woman stands in front of the mirror complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.”

Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts.

“How long will this take?” she asks.

“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies.

The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts everyday will make my breasts grow over the years?”

“Worked for your butt, didn’t it?”

He lived. And with a great deal of therapy, may even walk again..

Man driving down road.
Woman driving up same road
They pass each other
Woman yells out her window, “PIG!”
Man yells out his window, “B.I.T.C.H!”
Man rounds next curve
Crashes into a huge pig in middle of road.

Thought For The Day : If only men would listen.

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s
house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house. She saw her
daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the
daughter-in-law
answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”

“My husband loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it
makes me
happy. I would appreciate it if you would leave because he will be home
from
work any minute.”

The mother-in-law was tired of all this romantic talk and left. On the
way
home she thought about the love dress. When she got home she undressed,
showered, put on her best perfume and waited by the front door. Finally
her
husband came home. He walked in and saw her standing naked by the door.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress” she replied.

“Needs ironing.” he said.

HEHE>>HAVE FUN 2 YA GUYZ READING-*-

JESSICA ALBA Hot Hot Hot at “Valentine’s Day” Los Angeles Premiere Arrivals February 8, 2010